Incision
by Arwen76
Summary: translation from french of my story : L'Incision     : Lyra helps a young boy, Tony, before to coming to Bolvangard, and after, she learns his story. A terrible story. And Tony was only a child...


His Dark Material

Well, it's my first fan fiction I write in English, so, please, can you be indulgent?

I write very often in French, but doing it in English is very different and hard.

I have learned this language since 7 years, but before, I didn't like it at all. This year, I have discovered English can be interesting and a beautiful language. But my level is not very good, not very good at all …

In those conditions, it was very hard to write a complete chapter in English, but I have tried, and I hope it's not a total failure.

So, what do you thing about my write?

Tell me, I really, really want to know, it's important if I want to progress.

If you have any suggestion about the story, about grammar, spelling or else, please, tell me all in a review.

INTRODUCTION

In Lyra's world, everyone has a daemon. Daemon is like person soul, and accompanies his human everywhere, all the time. Daemons can have a lot of different forms in accordance with his human character. But when the child becomes a young adult, his daemon takes a definite form. Lord Asriel, Lyra's Father, has a snow leopard, and Mrs. Coulter, her mother, has a violent golden monkey.

They can never be separated, or they suffer and at last, die. When a human dies, his daemon does too, and vice versa. They are a single entity, a whole, indivisible.

But Lyra's world is governed by the Church, in particular by Oblation Council. No one knows what they do: they kidnap children and practice experiences so that the daemon never takes its final form.

So, they tear off daemons. All children who are suffering this "incision" are dying. Daemons are shut away in cages.

One of these children is Tony.

* * *

Incision

There is a particular place, far, very far in the North. Every living being avoids it, birds don't fly over it, lemmings and foxes don't approach. Hatred and frightening atmosphere invade it. All call it Bolvangar, "evil field", but for the people who work inside, it's the Station.

Children who disappear everywhere else are gathered in the Station. From time to time experiments are practiced. Children don't know anything; though they see their classmates disappear without explanation.

Class had just finished. It was mid-afternoon and at this hour, children were in the refectory. They went from the gymnasium, and a lot of them were exited with impatience and by the sport that they had practiced. The time they waited had come: in a few minutes they could write a letter to their parents. Of course, they didn't know the letters were burnt after by the Station chief.

Tony waited, in the background; he didn't like the other children, their futile conversations, their hopes, their confidence, and their interests. The sport was the only moment when they forgot what they lived day after day. They talked, smiled and laugh.

But Tony didn't go with them, never did. He felt like a stranger. Some others said he was stupid; he had nothing in this head. He didn't think they're right, but let the others say what they wanted. He preferred to think of his parents, his ancient life instead of the terrifying fill the Station.

In these arms, Ratter, his daemon, seemed asleep, whereas Tony knew he shared his thoughts and regrets. They would leave this place so cold, even if they knew it were impossible. They were always watched, escape was unfeasible, and fear was the principal check. Run away, and for what? If they weren't killed by the Tartars' guns, they died of cold.

A blond girl who Tony knew very well approached slowly so the nurse didn't notice her: at their age, girls stay with girls, boys with boys. She leaned against the wall near Tony.

In order not to attract attention, they let their daemons start the conversation. The one of the girls had chosen a squirrel's form, and the two rodents talked in very low voices, whereas their humans looked indifferent. In truth, it was very hard to remain attentive when the daemon does other things.

Suddenly, the two children's attention was attracted by the nurse's screams. She was furious at four little girls, two of them were crying. The nurse's dog-daemon barked against one of the girl's daemons, a cat, which had caught the nightingale' daemon of the other girl. The nightingale was released and flew in this human's arms, while cat metamorphosed himself into a mouse to go in his human's clothes.

Disagreements were often resolved like that, but it was unusual humans were much affected.

While all were busy watching conflict, the blond girl caught Tony by his arms and pulled him before he could say anything. They passed the refectory's door without noise, slipped into the corridors, then, ran faster and faster. When she heard a nurse's bird-daemon's flaps, she pulled him into the first door. They came into the linen room.

"- What are you doing Bridget? If they notice we have disappeared, they'll …

- Don't panic, we'll come back quickly. I'm certain they'll never know anything," Bridget answered with a very low voice. "Tony, I had to speak with you, it's very, very important, that's why I asked Annie and Bella to create a diversion. Have you ever heard the rumors?"

The girl, so calm usually, looked nervous. She glanced toward the door, her breath was faster and louder, and her daemon, a fly, flied without stop around their heads.

"- The rumors? You want to say Children who were killed by nurses?" Tony asked with a little mocking smile.

"- Don't laugh! I'm serious, very serious. I've learnt more in the last sewing class. I suppose you have noticed all children's daemons here haven't yet their final form?"

The little girl forced him to sit behind one tub blubbing with washing. An aroma of flowers filled the room, replacing the one of hospital and medicine, which they were so used to smell.

"- I haven't noticed that. Even if it's true, I don't care about that …"

He though: That means no one has become a teenager, and so?

He folded his arms and watched grey shadows on the wall. Bridget didn't give up and continued.

"- It's true. And a girl has tough me an important thing during the lesson. She's here for long time. She says: the children who have a stabilized-daemon are taken and nobody sees them again …"

"- Yes, so what?" Tony asked, bored. "What is …"

- Can't you understand?" She interrupted him with a voice louder and louder."I think no one has seen your daemon change! They can think it has its final form, and take you, and we'll never see you again, never!

Tony stayed silently for a few seconds, and watched his friend. She was about to cry, looked terrified and sincere.

"- But, he replies finally, you know Ratter can change, you have seen him. And if they take me off, it's a good new, isn't it? Maybe I can go back home. Whatever they do, in fact, can't be worse than here.

- You … you don't afraid? We don't know what they do to children who disappear. I don't want you to go! Tony, please, listen…"

The two children heard at this moment noises behind the door, discrete, almost quiet. They immediately hid in the dark, in complete silence.

The nurse's shadow grew on the wall, bigger and bigger. They knew her, she had a very quiet voice, and she was friendly with the children. All trusted her. The two children watched her daemon, a dog, approach and bark at Ratter. Tony took him in his arms and kept eyes on the dog. Bridget caught him by his clothes, but he freed from her and stood up.

"- Tony, come, go on." The nurse said.

Bridget stayed hidden, petrified. She was too afraid to help him: thought she had a premonition she will never see him again. She liked a lot this shy boy, always alone. She wished the nurse could do nothing to her friend.

"- What do you want?" Tony asked

He watched Bridget discreetly, and saw two tears rolling on her cheeks. Her panic reached him too.

"- What will you do to me?"

The nurse was a little surprise by this question, she look for the best words to answer without worrying him more. She didn't like to make a fuss, and want to her work done in calm and discretion.

"- What will you do to Ratter?" he asked again while he hugged his daemon in his arms, as if he was afraid of being separated from him.

The nurse, who hadn't seen Bridget, approached and explained:

"- He will sleep, just like you."

When Bridget's daemon brushed against his leg, he remembered the rumors.

"- You will kill him, right? Everyone knows what you do: you kill children and daemons!

She was very surprised but didn't show it. Her dog tried to play with Ratter.

"- No! Of course not. Nothing's gonna harm you, don't worry. No one will hurt you while I am around. It's a very usual operation. It's nothing."

At this moment, Ratter jumped from his arms and began to play with the dog.

"- What do you want to operate me for?

- Everyone here is, it's necessary to become a real adult. That's why our daemons never changed. It's to be grown-ups, do you understand?

- Yes, yes I think so."

Bridget put her hand on her mouth not to scream. The nurse caught his hand with a enthusiastic smile. They went out in the corridor, leaving Bridget alone, terrified and crying.

They went through the Station, and finally arrived in a part forbidden to the children.

He didn't understand what was this feeling which grew up in his heart. He wasn't really afraid, but rather upset.

"- Go into this room Tony."

Shaking, he obeyed.

The operating theatre was filled with strange instruments, weird medical objects, and machines all more curious than the others. The door was closed by the nurse and Tony felt like in a trap. Two men waited in a corner, and their daemons, a badger and a baboon, growled at him.

The nurse told him to sin in an uncomfortable seat. Tony, who didn't understand, complied and let her disinfect his arm. However he tried to extricate himself when he saw her take a big -too big- syringe, but she had a firm grip. He could only look at the syringe -really too big!- approaching his skin. After a few seconds, the needle penetrated his flesh, and, oddly, the pain wasn't so bad. The nurse put down the syringe on the table and rubbed his arms one minute.

Tony's muscles relaxed slowly, and he saw Ratter trying to stand up, but he could hardly stand on his paws.

Tony thought he was going to scream. His strength deserted him; he was taken by violent nauseas and dizziness. He fell and brought up.

What he felt can't be described, for the reason that it was the most insupportable sensation he had ever suffered, like a hand was in his chest pulling out one part of him, more profound, more precious than all things, made him mad with pain.

His daemon shook a lot, profoundly repulsed by those hands, those impure hands, those strangers' hands.

No one, ever, can touch an other human's daemon. It's a rule known by all, never said, but no human can ignore it. Probably the worth thing can be done.

Nevertheless one man had caught Ratter, and he didn't see perturbed at this idea. He threw the poor Ratter in a cage and bolted it. The other man seized the boy, dragged him to a table moreover her forced him to lay down.

Tony struggled, struck, clawed at the man's arms, bit his hands, howled at him, and then the nurse help him. While the man immobilized the boy's hands, she fastened his wrist with straps and inflicted the same treatment to his ankles. Tony couldn't move.

They were in a trap, a terrible trap.

At this moment, Tony understood what this operation was, the Incision, as some called it. An abominable process: they didn't want to stabilized his daemon form, or kill him. No, what they did was a thousand times worse. The rage, the anger, the horror, gave him a new vigor, which helped him to fight the anesthetic. He snapped out and moved as he can.

Ratter had understood too, and he tried too to escape. His terrifying screams joined those of Tony.

They knew, at this time, they could never run away.

The nurse attempted to calm him, like she had reassured him in the linen room. But Tony wasn't the little boy who talked with Bridget; he was a boy who had to make a macabre, a horrifying discovery. No one could make him calm when he knew the unique link with Ratter would disappear in a few seconds. Ratter was his soul, but this connection would cut forever. He couldn't imagine living without his daemon, which was like a person without a face, it can't exist.

When the nurse understood the tranquilizer had no effect, she quickly took a second syringe and injected the anesthetic into the child's blood. A few seconds after, Ratter fell asleep, without defense.

"- Ratter! … No, Ratter! RATTER!" Tony howled.

If only he had listened to his friend, if only he had understood only some minutes before, he could have protected his daemon, doing all he could to they stay a single entity. Tears flowed on his cheeks.

He thought of all the children who had disappeared, whose daemons were pulled out. Rumors were true, in fact: children were killed, because no one can live without a daemon, Tony was certain.

Tony's eyelids closed, it became hard to be attentive.

"- R… Ratter …" He whispered in one breath.

A last tear went out of his eye and he closed them definitely.

"- Good, he's sleeping. Prepare the scalpel." The nurse ordered.

* * *

It's … the … END! I'm so happy! My first story in English is finished!

If you like it, tell me why in a review … And if you don't like too, in fact!

Thank you for spending time to read me.

Bye!


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